Total Surrender

Total Surrender

The healing I experienced from the eight myomas that were found in my ovaries did not come easy, but taught me several very important lessons about God and how He works in our lives. When the diagnosis was established, and the verdict that there was no alternative but my most dreaded surgery, I had claimed and hung on to every promise I could find in the Bible regarding healing. Reminding myself day and night that the truth, which is the Word of God is greater than the fact, or the diagnosis, I stubbornly maintained that I did not have to go through surgery because God had healed me because His Word said so. However, as the days wore on, my tummy started to grow big until I looked like five or six months pregnant. After six months, the discomfort was so great I could hardly sit up longer than an hour or carry anything heavy, not even my purse.

It seemed like I had reached the end of the rope and must make a decision. Early in the year, I had already testified about my healing before a large gathering and have been prayed over by so many people. Now I was beginning to fear that I might have to take back my claims.

Remembering the word of Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, let us reason together…” I brought my case before the Lord and poured out my heart to Him like water. I was scared of surgery and have a very low tolerance for pain. Years before, I almost had a heart attack from anesthesia for my dental implants. Besides I had no money and no medical insurance. Humbly, I surrendered everything to Him. I realized there wasn’t anything I could do, so I told God that if He wanted me to go through surgery, I was now willing to go. At the same time, I humbly reminded the Lord that all these years I had worked for this ministry that blesses Israel without remuneration, and I had faithfully remained in Him despite the hardships involved. Then the answer came: Yes, He would heal me! He gave me His word in John 15:7, If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.”

Within an hour after I prayed, I took a bus to St. Luke’s Hospital. As soon as I was seated, my cell phone rang. It was a dear sister in the Lord who heads the Philippine office of a worldwide ministry. She said she prayed that whatever it takes, she was going to spend for my hospitalization. She had actually set aside P50,000.00 for my surgery. I could not stop the tears welling up in my eyes as I felt the love of Jesus through that phone call. Then my son Johann called. He had bought me medical insurance, and he said that it would cover my surgery up to P100,000. I was ready to get off the bus before I lose control of my emotions when another phone call came. Another friend was providing me a special nurse during my hospital stay and post surgical recovery! Now I could no longer hold my tears, feeling the intense love of Jesus enfolding me. When I got to St. Luke’s, my obstetrician scheduled my surgery and ordered a repeat ultrasound to see how the myomas had grown. To everyone’s surprise, the results showed no myomas anywhere! Not one of the eight that were originally seen in the ultrasound could be found anymore. We could not stop praising God as we could hardly believe what happened.

There are three important and valuable lessons I learned from my experience. God is the One who calls the shots. He is God and there is no other. Even if He said that by the stripes of Jesus we have already been healed, it is He Who makes the decision as to how and when He will heal us. It is not for us to decide how and when we want to be healed. Our life is not our own. He owns us; even our bodies belong to Him. Therefore He demands total surrender of our will to His sovereign will. Not our will but His will be done in our lives!

God is our Provider. He will most certainly meet all our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Psalm 23, Philippians 4:19) Remember that the earth is His and all that is in it. It is He Who works in everyone of us to will and to do according to His good purpose. With Him there is no lack. He has vast and enormous resources both in heaven and on earth which He can and will marshal to meet our needs and accomplish His plans and purpose. And He never sends us empty handed anywhere, but He will equip us with everything we need when we don’t have what it takes to obey Him (Philippians 4:13)

God is a reasonable and just God. He invites us to present our case to Him, and He will listen to our petitions and complaints (Isaiah 1:18, Philippians 4:6) Like the loving Father that He is, He is so patient with us. He wants to take us aside and be intimate with us. The problems that beset us, the needs, the concerns – all these are just occasions He uses to call us to Himself so He can demonstrate just how much He loves us and give us His best. “He will respond to the prayer of the destitute, he will not despise our plea.” (Psalm 102:17)

Remember, the Lord loves us so much He wants only the best for us. You and I can rest assured that He will not allow anything to happen to us apart from His perfect will for our lives, but will continue to work out all things together for our good! ( Romans 8:28)